You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
