Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
