Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Semen is not good for contacts.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
