I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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