I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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