More tranny stories later!
I faked an abortion last night.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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