Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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