He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
