but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
