Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
