watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I look better un-naked...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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