In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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