Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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