I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize