The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
