was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
