Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
