the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
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