We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
