the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
