I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
