I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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