I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
