zippers are such a cool invention
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
