Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Randomize
