considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
