Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I wish i was in the wii world.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Randomize
