I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
