he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
