Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
