If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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