We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
