She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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