your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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