I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
