I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
