then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
