Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Also, beer. Big fan.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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