Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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