I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
