I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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