Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.

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(713): View more from Texas

yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Let me guess--your parents are cousins.

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(818): View more from California

I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.

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(646): View more from New York

He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.

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(310): View more from California

I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out

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(954): View more from Florida

WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!

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(727): View more from Florida

If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?

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