The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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