It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
