I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
