man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
