I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
