The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
