I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
