It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Me too!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Randomize
