I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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