Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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