I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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