Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
