My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
