The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he was CRYING into my vagina
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
