Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
