I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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