All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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