He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
