what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
