Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize