you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
