i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
