Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
