I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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