Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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