Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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